The Top 25 Of 2002

1. OSAMA BIN LADEN, catch me if you can 314
2. George W. Bush, the omen 289
3. Bernard Law, why do you think they call it the rectory? 265
4. John Ashcroft, it’s curtains for lady liberty 244
5. Saddam Hussein, death to smoochy 224
6. John Allen Muhammad, die another day 195
7. Trent Lott, toast 196
8. Dick Cheney, panic room 186
9. Martha Stewart, ulterior decorator 164
10. John Lee Malvo, drivers needed 102
11. Ken Lay, secretary of energy 101
12. Michael Jackson,
if you think about it, he’s still
a better dad than eric clapton 78
13. Donald Rumsfeld, puff baghdaddy 62
14. Yasir Arafat, yas man 59
Terry McAuliffe, there’s always room for jell-o 59
16. Ariel Sharon, terrorist 47
17. Hillary Clinton, first wives club 46
18. Barry Bonds, this year’s record-holder 40
19. Pope, the bachelorette 37
Karl Rove, axis of evil 37
21. Lizzie Grubman, axle of evil 35
Kim Jong II, what happens when a president’s
son takes over without being elected 35
Tom Ridge, code brown 35
24. Charlton Heston, fighting to preserve gun rights
for alzheimer’s victims 33
25. John Henry Williams, soul on ice 32
Winona Ryder, girl, arrested 32