The Top 25 Of 2001

1. OSAMA BIN LADEN, hairy plotter 803
2. Gary Condit, girl interrupted 268
3. Mullah Mohammad Omar, i shot the sharif 241
4. John Ashcroft, the golden snitch 239
5. Mohammed Atta, automatic pilate 223
6. George W Bush Jr, me talk pretty some day 186
7. John Walker Lindh, shallow allah 174
8. Saddam Hussein, springtime for hitler 160
9. Yassir Arafat, zoolander 154
10. Dick Cheney, hiding in cars with boys 152
11. Ariel Sharon, monsters inc 149
12. Timothy McVeigh, osama’s seat warmer 145
13. O.J. Simpson, the mummy returns 139
14. Jerry Falwell, american taliban 136
15. Bud Selig, baseball fever – cure it 134
16. Hillary Clinton, the evil one 133
17. Tom Cruise, thighs wide shut 128
18. Lizzie Grubman,
"Lizzie Grubman took the Rover
"And gave the crowd a runnin’-over!" 125
19. Britney Spears, barbie spice 95
20. Donald Rumsfeld, the rummy returns 85
21. Ira Einhorn, drugrat in paris 74
22. Al Gore, bearded lady 63
23. Tom Daschle, gone postal 62
24. George O’Leary, win one for the fibber 51
25. Geraldo Rivera, alfred e newsman 50