5. KARL CHRISTIAN ROVEMy Big Fat Obnoxious Boss (190 Points)

(AHOY News Service) In a global election in which dozens risked their lives to vote, the coveted honor of AHOY 2004 Fourth Runner-Up went to Karl Christian Rove.

Rove, known to reporters as "Bush's Brain" and to the President as "me," defeated many top candidates to reach the exclusive "Fanny Five."

Contacted in Washington, Rove declined comment.

However, White House spokesman Scott McCellan subsequently announced plans for a series of public service ads entitled "The Godless Illegitimate Mixed-Race Children of AHOY."
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El Duque compiled this report from AHOY files, wire services and tactile hallucinations.